We named our party play list daddy issues
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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