Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
