idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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