My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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