That's when you crack a 10am beer
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize