Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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