Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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