My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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