Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
