as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize