she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize