I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
