It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
