My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
