God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
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I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize