she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?