your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
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You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.