Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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  (845): i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen http://tfl.nu/31v4
  Replies (20) Good night (2240) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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  (765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z
  Replies (8) Good night (955) Bad night (3445) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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  (410): I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom http://tfl.nu/r4rn
  Replies (67) Good night (635) Bad night (6031) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?

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  (330): Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling? http://tfl.nu/xujd
  Replies (7) Good night (4624) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart

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  (817): His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart http://tfl.nu/4nfy
  Replies (21) Good night (5132) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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  (732): Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse. http://tfl.nu/qv1x
  Replies (5) Good night (2636) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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  (914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35
  Replies (15) Good night (1083) Bad night (3106) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1051) Bad night (4085) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

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  (501): Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ddwi
  Replies (9) Good night (3516) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street

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  (951): I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street http://tfl.nu/tl0c
  Replies (7) Good night (870) Bad night (2068) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink

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  (570): I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink http://tfl.nu/d7kc
  Replies (5) Good night (1055) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.

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  (732): When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails. http://tfl.nu/3vyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

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  (631): he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan http://tfl.nu/sol0
  Replies (19) Good night (1765) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot

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  (215): I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot http://tfl.nu/otr7
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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  (303): New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later... http://tfl.nu/qijg
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (178)

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