Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him

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  (617): OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him http://tfl.nu/b4mt
  Replies (11) Good night (919) Bad night (980)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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  (706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!" http://tfl.nu/rg7b
  Replies (164) Good night (1838) Bad night (3397)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice

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  (469): There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice http://tfl.nu/r0ns
  Replies (30) Good night (2279) Bad night (1054)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated

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  (703): i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated http://tfl.nu/8rnc
  Replies (13) Good night (4652) Bad night (1221)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2189) Bad night (3674)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.

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  (443): Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that. http://tfl.nu/hvnx
  Replies (11) Good night (4688) Bad night (1255)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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  (815): I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time. http://tfl.nu/qrqx
  Replies (7) Good night (2445) Bad night (844)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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  (913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (1148)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat

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  (757): You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat http://tfl.nu/abhh
  Replies (3) Good night (1045) Bad night (1631)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole

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  (631): Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole http://tfl.nu/78ec
  Replies (7) Good night (2904) Bad night (928)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.

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  (859): We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot. http://tfl.nu/b8ei
  Replies (5) Good night (968) Bad night (411)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.

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  (586): I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman. http://tfl.nu/wow9
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (398)
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  (729): View more from

  Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.

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  (729): Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/1y7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1664) Bad night (476)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore

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  (715): I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore http://tfl.nu/hhtw
  Replies (3) Good night (342) Bad night (487)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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  (770): I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/srdm
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (309)

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