The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?