wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.