Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  I bet he comes in French.

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  (626): I bet he comes in French. http://tfl.nu/k7nd
  Replies (5) Good night (1914) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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  (213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk
  Replies (12) Good night (5071) Bad night (1020)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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  (407): I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays" http://tfl.nu/5s21
  Replies (38) Good night (3695) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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  (312): Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up http://tfl.nu/cco3
  Replies (20) Good night (3231) Bad night (978)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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  (405): Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man http://tfl.nu/vdn4
  Replies (9) Good night (4821) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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  (302): Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children. http://tfl.nu/9yhs
  Replies (3) Good night (3009) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

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  (814): Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly.... http://tfl.nu/m1mg
  Replies (6) Good night (1285) Bad night (1902)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.

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  (910): My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete. http://tfl.nu/yj31
  Replies (2) Good night (3128) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

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  (928): No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals. http://tfl.nu/o042
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome

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  (+44): Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome http://tfl.nu/l1fy
  Replies (8) Good night (1184) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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  (813): If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/2jpe
  Replies (5) Good night (1369) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.

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  (415): I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings. http://tfl.nu/ozbw
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car

  (831): View more from California

  Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU

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  (415): She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car (831): Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU http://tfl.nu/qj3f
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet

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  (443): Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet http://tfl.nu/rex9
  Replies (0) Good night (308) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.

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  (313): He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over. (313): I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked. http://tfl.nu/vnqs
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (395)

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