I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
