How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.