Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes

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(514): View more from Quebec

so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.

(1-514): View more from Quebec

and?

(514): View more from Quebec

luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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(212): View more from New York

we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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(818): View more from California

Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.

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