...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
