that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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