you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I currently don't understand fingers.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
