i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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