Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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