the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
