My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
