It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't turn off my feet"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
