Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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