D3 body, D1 cock
ugly people sure do ruin things
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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