the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
