Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
