to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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