JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
