Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
