just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
