Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
