I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think my fart just growled at me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
