i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize