Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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