this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
