i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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