I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize