i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
