i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
