so that wasnt chicken after all
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
