I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
