she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
