In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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