So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
