Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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