I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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