R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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