And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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