I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
