So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
