Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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