lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights