yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night