Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
