Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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