tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
