Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
