I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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