i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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