It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
