someone owes me an orgasm
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
