You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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