I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
